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by Melissa Carter
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October 26, 2012 00:00 |
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I’m an elitist Halloween snob. I freely admit that I have a few hard and fast rules that I impose in a Pentecostal way.
For example, I oppose sexy Halloween costumes if they only exist for the sake of being sexy. An effort to simply show skin at Halloween is a sacrilege to what I believe is the beauty of Halloween: creativity and humor. The true judge of your costume is the reaction that others have and I have never been impressed by a costume just because it was sexy.
I take this time of year as an outlet to set aside all levels of political correctness. Normally, I am sensitive to the tragedies experienced by others, but on Halloween, all bets are off and I will eagerly use these tragedies to shock and amuse others.
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by Melissa Carter
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October 12, 2012 00:00 |
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Seems now that I am 42 I should be having a mid-life crisis. At least that’s what I keep hearing.
Those younger than me oddly keep using the term “your generation” around me and I have even heard more than one menopause joke directed my way. It’s not worth explaining that the “Change” won’t come for me for another decade.
When I left the Bert Show last year, some even accused me of doing so because of some age crisis. So I decided to look up exactly what a mid-life crisis was on Wikipedia, in order to understand how to play my part, and found it is “a time where adults come to realize their own mortality and how much time is left in their life.”
You’d think the Grim Reaper baked my 40th birthday cake.
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by Melissa Carter
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September 28, 2012 00:00 |
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I know a lesbian couple who recently broke up. They decided to inform their friends of their news by sending out a joint mass email. The email was short but let us all know that they had, sadly, decided to go their separate ways after seven long years.
Shortly after receiving the email, I was called by one of our mutual straight friends and asked for a translation. What exactly was she supposed to do now? Reply to the email? Send an email to both women separately? Send a pie or bottle of Jack Daniels? Should she call one of them or both of them? So I became the lesbian Rosetta Stone in an effort to help our straight friend understand.
I have heard of this type of email a few times before, and always from a gay couple.
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by Melissa Carter
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September 14, 2012 00:00 |
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My friend had the opportunity to attend the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte earlier this month, and I asked her to be my guest columnist and give some insight into what impacted her about the trip. These are her words: What has the Democratic Party done for us that we have never been able to do for ourselves?
During the three days of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, nearly every major speech openly celebrated love, no matter whether that love comes in the form of two guys, two girls or a guy and a girl.
One after another, speakers walked up to the podium and found a way to remind gay voters that they are loved, accepted and needed by the Democratic Party.
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by Melissa Carter
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August 31, 2012 00:00 |
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My home office is dedicated to space. The walls are covered with images of the space shuttle, former astronauts, and science fiction characters of a future some hope to experience.
But as NASA excitedly gives updates on the movements of the Curiosity Rover on Mars, I can’t help but wonder if Neil Armstrong and Sally Ride would be equally impressed with the space agency’s remote controls.
We lost these national heroes within about a month of one another, and I doubt they envisioned that at the time of their death America’s vast exploration of space would rely solely on a robot.
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