Debi Lowry is already a bit of a legend in gay Atlanta: a fixture on dance floors and at charitable fundraisers, a surrogate mother to the dozens of gay men who affectionately know her as Mama Deb. As much as Lowry revels in her popularity and being able to offer a compassionate shoulder to those who feel turned away from their biological families, she was unsatisfied by the thought of her legacy being limited to her being a social butterfly.

“When I’m gone, when I die, I want to have had an impact on someone else’s life — I don’t want it to be just, ‘Oh, she was a really nice person’ or ‘She made me laugh,’” Lowry says. “If I can change their lives for the better, I absolutely have to do that.”

A clinical psychologist in Atlanta, Dr. Glenda Corwin has spent a decade focusing on sexual intimacy between women. Her message to female couples? The rumored and feared “lesbian bed death” doesn’t have to happen, but it takes work to keep the sexual flames burning.

“Over the years working as a therapist with lesbian clients, I have heard them discuss their fear that there’s no way to keep passion alive in a long-term relationship – that lesbian bed death is inevitable,” Corwin says.