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I think I’m too old to watch ‘The Runaways’
by Dyana Bagby   
March 19, 2010 10:25
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The Runaways

“The Runaways,” a movie about the teen female band that includes my hero Joan Jett and also Cherie Currie, comes out today in limited release. Originally when I heard about the making of this film, I was thrilled. Hell yeah. Let’s see a filmmaker’s version of female rockers fighting their way to credibility while just being cool as shit.
But now I have doubts.

I’ve gotten to the point where I’m OK with the fact Kristen Stewart from “Twilight” fame is portraying Jett, one of the hottest, punkest, coolest rockers of all time. I saw “Twilight.” I liked it. Stewart is 19 years old. I’m old enough to be her mother, but she’s old enough to drive albeit not to drink. I can lust after her legally and not feel too, too icky.

However, Dakota Fanning is playing the role of Currie. Currie, who, while not my fave and didn’t make me gay like Jett did, was a hottie in this cool band that inspired girls to pick up guitars, get in front of audiences and belt out some good ol’ rock and roll.

But I’ve known Fanning — who hails from Conyers, Ga., y’all and is also part of the “Twilight” phenomenon — since she was a little girl. I mean, she’s been playing little cute girls in movies since, well, she was a little girl. She is still a little girl — she’s only 16. She turned 16 just last month.

Can I, with a clear conscience, watch Fanning portray a hot rocker and not feel like a dirty old woman? I don’t think so.

Fanning and Stewart share a steamy kiss in the flick. I love nothing more than watching hot women make out, especially if one is portraying Joan Jett.

But I’m already uncomfortable just hearing that Fanning is kissing anyone in movies, much less another woman. I’m torn.

I don’t care that Popeater.com says Fanning is “all grown up” now that she’s 16. Among those celebrating with her were members of her cheerleading squad.

Um, yeah. A cheerleading squad. And not the Dallas Cowboys kind of squad.

Currie was there for Fanning’s Sweet 16, too, and gave her a guitar carved from wood. And while Jett refuses to speak publicly about her sexual orientation, Currie proudly proclaims on her blog she’s “swung both ways, as they say, a few times in my life and I’m GLAD I DID! I am glad I gave myself the chance to find out who I am.”

I don’t know if my suspension of disbelief is strong enough to see Fanning as a, well, almost grown woman. She was the kid in “I am Sam,” for Christ’s sake. I remember seeing her interviewed on Jay Leno, her legs folded in the seat, giggling and all innocent and sweet, thinking she was the cutest little girl in the world. To me, she’s still that little girl. I think she may always be.

I can remember when there was a website that counted down the days the Olsen twins turned 18 so men — and I suppose a few misguided lesbians — all over the world could begin having nasty, sexy, but legal, thoughts about these two girls who were hot teen idols.

Is there a website for Dakota Fanning? Why, yes, there is. Apparently there is one for all these young women appropriately named www.jailbaitcountdown.com.

It’s 705 days until Fanning is 18, in case you wondered.

 

Photo: Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart portray rockers Cherie Currie and Joan Jett in the movie ‘The Runaways’ released today and playing at Midtown Art Cinema.  (Courtesy Linson Entertainment)

I think I’m too old to watch ‘The Runaways’
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