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Twinkie Gate: When they came out
by Abe Gurko   
November 20, 2012 15:31
Tweet

The real controversy regarding Hostess Twinkies is just how gay the iconic brand really is. It would be a crying shame if Hostess Twinkies went belly up ;) after eighty years of bringing toxic plazmosa to American children and fatsos of all ages.

As we look back at the rich, creamy history of Twinkies--the food source that was predicted to outlive cockroaches and Cher--one could not help noticing just how gay the Hostess brand is when you look at their product assortment: Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Fruit Pies and Ding-Dongs? Come on.

Hey, I trust my gaydar and have three words for you, Twinkie the Kid. This mascot is as nelly as you get and his faux cowboy duds don't fool me, in fact, Twinkie the Kid became even gayer once the Village People became mainstream. Suddenly cowboys and Indians became less about fighting and more about tops and bottoms.

Twinkie being a...

 I Mean...Come On!
 
WIKIPEDIA FACTOID: "Twinkie defense" is a derisive label for an improbable legal defense. It is not a recognized legal defense in jurisprudence, but a catchall term coined by reporters during their coverage of the trial of defendant Dan Whitefor the murders of San Francisco city supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone in 1979. White’s defense was that he suffered diminished cpacity as a result of his depression. His change in diet from healthy food to Twinkies other sugary food was said to be a symptom of depression. Contrary to common belief, White’s attorneys did not argue that the Twinkies were the cause of White’s actions, but that their consumption was symptomatic of his underlying depression. White was convicted of voluntary manslaughter.

That aside, look at these four commercials from the 70's for the various Hostess products:

King Ding Dong? With Cream Filling? Please.

Happy Ho Ho? That’s What We’re All Called At One Point.

Fruit Pie The Magician? Come Here And Get Your Fruit Pie Little Girl/Boy. I Can’t!

Post courtesy I Mean What?

Twinkie Gate: When they came out
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